Some ups and downs...

The past week has been a roller coaster to say the least.

Monday: Panic Attack (not being a drama queen, legit head between knees panic attack) Even worse this magical first time experience happened at the gym. I tried to act like it must just be dehydration from work but I don't think it was a good cover.

This all started when I ran into Krysten Williams. Krysten and I have been friends since 6th grade and while we have drifted apart it's always nice to run into her (or so I thought.) We had a bit of a chit chat while she was on the elliptical and as I commented on Boston being cold she shoved her hand in my face "AND! I'M ENGAGED!!" I acted thrilled and asked the normal questions

The wedding will be next March
He's an engineer
She'll be moving in with him in Beaumont, TX after the wedding
She's going to be a 6th grade math teacher
....grrrrrrrrreeeat!

As I started to run I felt sick. I have no idea what I want to do when I graduate or even where I want to live and I'm still trying to fight off being a scary old cat lady. And here's Krysten engaged, with a career and skinny (I guess I could be skinny too if I didn't go to a real college where people party and... DRINK!) I want to cry but more then anything I feel like I'm going to thrown up. I get off the treadmill and slowly walk over to the wall. I bend over trying to look like I'm just stretching and it's not helping. It's now coming in waves and really hitting me that she's engaged and her life is settled. I find a chair and put my head between knees and keep thinking "I went to a real college, I did stupid things and woke up in strange place, I live in a cool city, I will get a good job, and I'm happier now then I've ever been before... everything is ok, everything is going to be ok"

After my work out I returned home to my family and Scott our new company consultant. We had a great dinner and I guess I made a good impression because the next day he told my dad I should look into consulting... see everything is going to be ok.

As dinner ended my grandparents showed up with a gift for me and it finally hit me where I get my horrible gift giving attitude from... my grandmother. She had brought over a pretty stained glass piece that was a pair of ballet slippers. However as I open it she keeps say if you don't like it just tell, I'm sure you're going to hate it, Oh I don't know if you're going to like it all...
I'm going to try and learn from this experience and become more confident when giving gifts because all I wanted to do was stop unwrapping it and just hand it back to her unopened "You're right I hate it, take it back"

Tuesday: Last family dinner before Barrett leaves. "To Barrett's adventure but most importantly to family"

Wednesday: I wake up and get ready for work as Barrett is searching for his lost wallet... typical. He finds it just in time to leave for the airport as I'm walking out the door for work. We say our goodbyes and I cry for the entire trip to work. Not having my older brother for a year is going to be so hard. I need to be able to call him when I'm upset and he needs to meet Andrew and hate him and I need him to tell me to stop being such a girl and well... I just need him.

I ran into Krysten at the gym again... I may have to change gyms.

Thursday: We took the castings for my retainer so I can have straight teeth. YAY! Now I won't look like a total hick anymore. I'm really excited to get this done and hopefully everything will be done before school! While this was exciting and all the most exciting thing was that I got the morning off of work... I come home and chatted with my mom over breakfast and I even had time to go to the gym early so I wouldn't run into Krysten.